Whensday: December 21, 1984

I can still see her walking down the aisle. Her dark hair was free. She had decided not to have a veil. Her smile was resplendent. I couldn’t see my face, but I imagine it was somewhere between nervous and silly happy. I was wearing a rented tuxedo, cummerbund and all, and stood next to my best man and his father who was performing the ceremony. 

Shirley and I had both worked through many of the things that were “normal” or supposed to be part of this day. Were we going to have an arch with flowers? Were we going to do a unity candle? How many cakes were there going to be and who was going to make them?

Neither one of us had any money - and that didn’t really bother us. Our rings were bought at a pawn shop. Her dress was on sale from a bridal shop going out of business and a lovely lady from the bakery made our cakes for a friendly price. In the meantime a mechanic had fixed the car we had been gifted and my mother had bought four new tires. 

In the end we had wonderful songs sung by amazing friends, we gave our lives to one another and then we loaded up our car and drove off. The car gassed us all the way to Abilene, Texas where we were moving after Shirley’s graduation from Harding. I would be attending ACU. 

We never did find the pictures of our wedding day. We had had to take the film rolls undeveloped with us (do you remember film rolls) and it was months later - after two moves - that we went looking for them and couldn’t find them. So our memories are what is left - and they are amazing. 

This Saturday those memories will be 40 years old and we have made so many new memories together. Most of the time we are not able to celebrate our anniversary on the day itself. This year we will at least spend some time on the day to remember and share together. We will look at a different time to celebrate more extensively. 

December itself is a month of memories. We spent a day in Antwerp on the 11th to celebrate Shirley’s birthday. The church has its Christmas get-together potluck this Sunday. And of course the two days of Christmas and then the New Year are on their way. But this Saturday is for remembering that smile of hers coming down the aisle. 

(Thanks to my mom for the few pictures we have!)

On the Family Side

The end of the year is family time: Thanksgiving and Christmas are all chances to catch up on what is going on and to share time together. We are thankful that we live in a time where technology makes much of that possible. When we were young, being way for the holidays meant not seeing family at all. We have the luxury of being able to connect with family through technology. 

Since we got to visit our granddaughter in the summer, we have looked forward to every single moment we can share with her (and with Stephan and Natalie). Stephan has changed up his time to video call so that this has become even better. In the past, Stephan would call at his lunch time, which was out dinner time. It worked out perfect as we could share a meal and a conversation together. When Sophia arrived, she was usually sleeping at lunch. And who wants to wake a sleeping infant? Certainly not a new parent. 

Now, Stephan calls us in his morning, our afternoon, when he is sitting with Sophia getting ready for the day. She babbles with us, shows us her toys and we get to share time with both her and Stephan. If we sing one of her songs, she lights right up, recognizing the song. We have been sending some video’s off songs with new items - in Dutch. That way she also learns that she can speak that language. 

We also enjoyed following both Stephan and Natalie running a Turkey trot on Thanksgiving. We get a link to their route and can see how they are doing (even their heart rate). At the end we were sent a picture of everyone together. It is amazing to be able to share in these kinds of moments - live and in the moment. We are so thankful for the technology that is now available. 

Over in New York Sean and Jill are also thankful for technology, but in a different way. We have enjoyed seeing pictures and videos of their new apartment which they were able to move into at just the right moment. Sean tore his ACL back in September and was able to have it operated on this past week. So he needs to be taking great care of his leg. Their previous apartment was on the 5th floor, without an elevator. Now they live on the first floor. 

We look forward to being able to say hello, even if it is briefly, to both Stephan and Natalie (and Sophia) and Sean and Jill on Christmas. As it suits young families and couples, they will be busy with their own plans on that day (as will we), but being able to jump on a call together will keep us bound together. We pray that you, too, are able to enjoy your time with family in these days - either because of the wonder of technology, or because you are able to get together. Savor each moment. 

Whatsit Wednesday: Shawl

A shawl is not inherently Belgian or Dutch. We know that people around the world wear them, except in the warmer climes of the world. But it is here that I first saw how important this piece of outwear is, for both men and women. Belgian and Dutch weather has a whole season for shawls - and not just one shawl. There is a whole fashion culture built up around this clothing accessory. 

When we first moved here, I knew that a nice “pashmina” would be a good birthday gift for Shirley. Today is her birthday and I still think about a good shawl. Shirley likes shawls. They can be used in so may different ways. There are silk versions, wool version and of course all sorts of blends. They can be one color, multicolored and patterned in every way. And each one can have a different purpose or time of year. 

You see, the light shawl is first brought out in the Fall as the weather starts to turn. One needs something around the neck to keep the sharper winds out, but the winter coat has not yet been dug out of the deepest closet. So every one is still wearing light coats, suit coats or windbreakers. But to add just that bit of extra protection and fashion sense, a colorful shawl is draped around the neck, sometimes tucked into the coat or suit coat. 

That was one of the things that struck me when I first came - shawls are worn in many different ways. You can see students wrapping a long, thick shawl around their neck, tossing it over their shoulders as they climb aboard their bicycles to race off to class somewhere in the city. On the shopping streets you will see posh gentlemen with a somewhat thinner shawl tucked around their neck and into their coat. Some men will even wear a light shawl around their neck, trailing down their back, in the cooler of the summer months. 

Women, as Shirley shows well, have all sorts of ways to accessorize their clothing in any season. Shirley drapes a silk shawl on one side to accentuate a color. Or she can use a thicker one to serve almost as a sort of poncho, adding some warmth which can be easily and quickly removed if needed. 

Shirley loves finding a beautiful shawl and adding it to her collection. So that remains a good choice for a birthday present. Which reminds me… I need to get to the store.