Have you ever
noticed? It is such a hard thing to do: to simply say, “Thank you.” Why is
that? I know that part of it is a desire to be humble – a misplaced desire (the
desire is not misplaced, but it gets put in the wrong place). When someone
compliments me on something I have done, or on a characteristic that they have
noticed or experienced in me, why do I feel the need to minimalize that?
Because I think that otherwise I am being proud, tooting my own horn. So I say
something like, “It’s nothing really. I just threw that together.” Or something
like, “This old thing? I just found it in a thrift store.”
It is often
true. Maybe it is something that I
just threw together. Maybe I did get
for a really good price so that it looks expensive but wasn’t. Maybe it is
something that is easy for me. But am I being humble when I mention that?
God gives gifts
as He sees fit. We are blessed with
certain abilities that others do not have. That is how we can help and serve
one another. If we didn’t have different abilities, we would not need one
another, we would not be a body. (Consider Oholiab and Bezalel in Exodus 31 and
1 Corinthians 12 about the body).
What I am
actually doing is negating what the other has said. I am basically saying that
they are a liar. That what they are saying is either not true or not correctly
seen or not actually important. But that
is not at all what I want to do! It isn’t what I mean to be doing! But it is what is happening.
On the other
side, what do I do when someone thanks me
for something? Too often I minimalize again. Perhaps I don’t know how to deal
with the attention. Once again, I don’t want to be prideful. So I deny them
their thankfulness. Of course that is not at all what I want to do, but when I
minimalize their thanks, I am not
being humble.
I have noticed
that this gets in the way of my relationships. Maybe you have noticed that as
well (in your relationship with me – or in your own relationships). But it
doesn’t have to happen. We all learned as children some simple ways of dealing
with these situations.
When I was a
kid there were a few ‘magic’ words: Please,
Thank you, and You’re welcome. Nothing
has changed since I have grown except that I have gotten taller and older. God
asks us to be thankful to Him. He has made us and knows how we work best.
Thankfulness is what puts all into perspective.
Thanking
someone is good, but it is the same when they compliment us. They have done
something for us – given of themselves, opened themselves up to us. It is best
for me and for him/her to simply be thankful. If you have been able to do
something for another, or be something for another and he/she mentions this in
a compliment – say, “Thank you.” It is that simple. If someone thanks you for
what you have done or said or have been – simply say, “You’re welcome.” No
more, no less.
Rejoice always, pray
without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God
in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians
5:16-18
