Do I deserve it?

There are various songs that talk about the grace of God. Some of my favorites talk about how grace means that I do not deserve it. About how amazing it is that `God would even think of me in giving His grace. That He doesn’t wait until I am “better” to offer me grace. He gives His most wonderful gift of life exactly when I need it - when I am dying. 

God through the apostle Paul puts it into words well in the letter to the Romans in chapter 5 and verse 6 through 8: “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

I have thought about this quite a bit in the past months. Many of my discussions and contacts with people are things that look to be going nowhere if I were looking at my life and task here as a job. In a job you are focused on production. I have worked at a pizza place, a hamburger place, a hotel as room service and as a teacher. I have needed to sell as many pizza’s as possible on my shift, make and serve hamburgers at the drive-thru and at the counter and hope that visitors to the hotel order room service so that I could get tips. Even as a teacher my work was measured by my production. 

As an evangelist the same thing can be done. Supporting congregations might look at a certain area and compare it with another. How many people are coming to the Lord in that country? Not as many in this country over here. We need to encourage the worker there to be more productive. Or we need to move our funds elsewhere. These are all normal thoughts and considerations. And they are thoughts in my head as well. I worry about whether I am using my time wisely. Should I be putting more time into people who clearly seem to not want to hear any good news? Should I just drop them and move on to others? Am I wasting my time and productivity? 

Then I wonder about how long God had to wait for me. I look at so many in the church and realize that God must have worked a long time on them (and me). If I think about all the people He put into my life, I am truly amazed. Amazed that He could love such a sinner as me. He put a lot of resources into my life. I know that some of the people have probably never heard anything about what they did in my life to bring me to a life of faith in this loving God. 

In Matthew 25:31-46 Jesus tells a story about sheep and goats. I have shared this often with the young people here. The people in this story who are non-productive are those who do nothing and are not even aware of what they have not done. Those who are praised as good servants are those who have helped in daily matters for people who are often overlooked. 

Some of the people I spend time with seem to me to be quite obstinate. I have spoken to them often of the love of Christ, have shared and read the Bible with them and have prayed with and for them. They remain obstinate and deny the need for any help from this God. And still I continue to help them as I can. 

A man in prison calls me almost every day. He claims that he is the pope and has a strange way of looking at God. But he also prays for me and the contacts I have with others. It is difficult to visit him in prison (90 minutes away and with the usual bureaucracy). Another man is struggling with cancer and health issues. He has no one in his life because he has turned all away through his vitriolic way of talking with most people. A woman thinks that she can and needs to buy every kind of contact - even now that she is in a nursing home at an advanced age. She has no children, but she has money. She has recently begun to learn how to pray, simply talking to God. 

These are people that take time. I wonder sometimes if it is “worth” it. Then I remember God’s grace and mercy in my life. God wants us to be gracious as He is gracious, to show mercy as He shows mercy. That means even when they don’t seem to be listening. As a matter of fact, that is exactly when it is needed - when they do not understand the value of what is being offered. 

We have a walnut tree in our yard. If you didn't know what walnuts were, you would never think to pick up these ugly, dirty things rotting underneath the tree. Sometimes people cannot see the beauty of what is being offered. Sometimes we cannot see the beauty of what is before us. I thank God for His grace and mercy with me, for the people He brought into my life. Many of you are those people. Thank you for being full of grace, even when you could not see where it was leading. Please pray for us as we try to do the same in our lives here.