On the Family Side…

One of the reasons we will be moving back to the US, or one of the blessings we will enjoy, is being closer to family. This includes, of course, being able to be grandparents from closer by. Our granddaughter will be a car ride away. We hope to be able to see her and she us more often than we get to see one another now through video connections. 

And at the end of our Home Assignment, we of course also heard that we will be becoming grandparents a second time - for Sean and Jill’s baby. Although we will certainly not be within driving distance of New York, the possibility of seeing granddaughter number two will be exciting. A continental flight will be closer than an international one. 

We of course do not yet have any specific dates or times for when we might be able to see one another, but the wheels are moving. We are talking to moving companies, are putting the house up for sale and are trying to get rid of the accumulation of “stuff” from 35 years. How much stuff can one gather in that amount of time? More than enough. 

We were glad to be able to see almost all of our family as we traveled during our Home Assignment. It will be interesting to see if the distance, although it is closer, is actually closer when we move. Reality remains that one has to be intentional in getting together with family and friends. When our first neighbors moved across the town, they said farewell, knowing that it would not be that easy to find time to see one another - and that was simply across town.

But we look forward to enjoying the little moments of the grandkids. We have already seen granddaughter nr. 1 before walking and talking and now well on her way to talking up a storm and running wherever she wants to go. Granddaughter nr. 2 is due in January, so we are praying that all goes well and we get to meet her soon and start making these memories as well. 

The Walnut

While I was finishing my studies at Abilene Christian University (ACU), I was able to do some work as a substitute teacher. I was able to step into all sorts of classes. I taught middle school math or science. I was able to teach English (which was my area of expertise). I even substituted in a school which was the last stop for kids who couldn’t seem to make it (because of their behavior) at any other school in the city. All of these opportunities confirmed that I wanted to be a teacher.

I graduated in December of 1988 and did a lot more substituting in the semester following. But in September 1989 I was able to start as a real English teacher at Abilene High School (AHS) downtown Abilene, Texas. I had 10th grade English groups and an 11th grade literature group. The 10th graders came into the class needing to learn the basics (past what they had already learned). This meant that I was also teaching some composition. 

For one section, I wanted to introduce poetry, explaining what it was and how it worked. We talked about the different sorts of meter, rhythm and rhyme. We looked at various examples, including some songs and rap (which was beginning to make its way in the music world - even in Abilene, Texas). To help my students practice writing their own poetry, I brought certain visual elements into class and explained how they could be used.

Whenever I gave my class a task, I took part in the task as well. That way they knew that I was not asking them something impossible or simply time-consuming and boring (although they may still have thought that). For this project I brought along a worn out sneaker, a stone, a walnut and a few other items. 

At the end of the class the students could share, if they desired, their poetry with the class. They were required to hand it in (so that I could see what they had done). They asked if I had done anything, which I had. I had written a poem based on the sneaker and a poem based on the walnut. 

The poem on the walnut turned into this song about a conversation between a grandpa and his grandson. A few weeks ago I played the song at Family Camp, billing the act for the talent night as “First time grandpa” singing “The Walnut”. We have become grandparents since the end of June this year, so I thought the song fit the event. 

Afterwards someone asked me when I had written the song, thinking that it was new. I looked up as I recalled the years and replied, “1990, I think.” The questioner was surprised. “What? But didn’t you just become a grandpa?” So this song has been waiting in the wings for some 30 years (Stephan was only just born when it was written) until the right moment. But the thoughts remain true, no matter when they are passed on. 

How do you think of your grandparents? What do you do with them? How are you as a grandparent? What do you enjoy doing with your grandkids?

On the Family Side

As a congregation we often pray for our “children and grandchildren”. Recently someone remarked that Shirley and I are no fully part of that group. We are indeed very thankful for the safe arrival of our first grandchild, Sophia Ruby. In Dutch a grandchild is a “small child”. A grandparent is a “great parent” (same idea as in English). A great grandparent is an “over great parent”. 

Both Shirley and I grew up without knowing much of our grandparents. Shirley met her maternal grandmother once. Her paternal grandparents are still a mystery that we are trying to solve. Scott met his maternal grandmother once as well, but had some contact via his mother. He met his paternal grandparents once as well, since his family traveled quite a bit for his father’s military duties. 

Our boys, with us living here in Europe, had of course much less contact with their grandparents than others might have. Shirley’s father passed away before the boys were even born. I fact I never met Shirley’s father either. The boys did get to meet Shirley’s mother at least twice on our return trips to the US. 

Scott’s father met Stephan as a baby and then the boys met him again in Denver when they were young. They met one more time when Sean was a teenager and we had dropped Stephan off at Harding University. The boys had more contact with Scott’s mom throughout the years. We stayed at her house when we dropped into Colorado on our visits. She even came to visit in Belgium after Sean’s birth. 

So both of us are more than aware that grandparents can be present from far away, as much as they might want to be closer more often. It is not always possible. The interesting thing for us was in how to name the grandparents. In Dutch grandpa is most often called “Opa” and grandma is “Oma”. That is what we had the boys call their paternal grandparents. Shirley’s mother was still “Grandma”, as often as they were able to use it. 

We have been wondering how we might want to be called as grandparents. Having the other language means that we can choose for something different. But it is also true that Stephan calls me “papa”. For many in the US, this is a term for grandpa. And Shirley was not so thrilled with the sound of “oma”. It sounded too “old” for her (imagine “grandmother” spoken full out every time by your grandchild). 

So we have let Stephan and Natalie know that we would like to be called Omi and Opa. Of course, we look forward to the time that Sophia can see us and say for herself what we will be called for her - even if it is “mmmphhnnn” or some such sound. What do you call your grandparents? And how are you known by your grandkids? 

(The picture above references a song about Grandpa's that you can listen to here).