Whodunit Wednesday: Jim and Ruth Krumrei

This past week Jim and Ruth Krumrei celebrated their 73rd wedding anniversary. Every month our town in Belgium puts the various wedding anniversaries of the town in the paper with a picture of the couple and often of their family. These  pictures and mentions begin with 50 years. Nothing less is worthy of mention. I have seen a 65 year a few times and even a 70 year once. I wonder if we will get to see the 75 year anniversary of Jim and Ruth. 

Jim and Ruth live in Haarlem, the Netherlands and are an integral part of my history. When I came to the Netherlands as an apprentice, it was Jim who was my mentor. It was from him and Ruth that I learned, by example, how important it is to have a regular rhythm of reading in God’s word. I was at their house for dinner many nights and they always ended the evening by reading in God’s word. This was how I learned a lot of my Dutch, since the reading was done in Dutch. 

Ruth always took care of me, preparing her delicious rhubarb pie (from rhubarb in their tiny garden out the back) or making her own muesli for me when I was there for breakfast. As a young guy cooking on his own (and I still don’t really know how to cook) it was good to have a place to get real food and have a “mom” who took care of me. Even though I would never have admitted that I needed taking care of at that age. 

Jim and Ruth have always been a part of the church in the Netherlands. This past weekend I was in Haarlem to help the congregation with singing and Jim showed up for a short time. Even at his advanced age (they are both above 90 years-old) he loves to share his joy in Christ. And Ruth will never stop talking about how mighty her loving Saviour is. This time of persistence in purity is such an example to me and others around them. 

No one knows how old they will become. Sometimes I am surprised at my own age and wonder how I got here. I think Jim and Ruth are a good example. They simply got to that age one day at a time, moving forward faithfully with what they know God finds good. That is the type of person I want to be, every day. 

Whensday: December 21, 1984

I can still see her walking down the aisle. Her dark hair was free. She had decided not to have a veil. Her smile was resplendent. I couldn’t see my face, but I imagine it was somewhere between nervous and silly happy. I was wearing a rented tuxedo, cummerbund and all, and stood next to my best man and his father who was performing the ceremony. 

Shirley and I had both worked through many of the things that were “normal” or supposed to be part of this day. Were we going to have an arch with flowers? Were we going to do a unity candle? How many cakes were there going to be and who was going to make them?

Neither one of us had any money - and that didn’t really bother us. Our rings were bought at a pawn shop. Her dress was on sale from a bridal shop going out of business and a lovely lady from the bakery made our cakes for a friendly price. In the meantime a mechanic had fixed the car we had been gifted and my mother had bought four new tires. 

In the end we had wonderful songs sung by amazing friends, we gave our lives to one another and then we loaded up our car and drove off. The car gassed us all the way to Abilene, Texas where we were moving after Shirley’s graduation from Harding. I would be attending ACU. 

We never did find the pictures of our wedding day. We had had to take the film rolls undeveloped with us (do you remember film rolls) and it was months later - after two moves - that we went looking for them and couldn’t find them. So our memories are what is left - and they are amazing. 

This Saturday those memories will be 40 years old and we have made so many new memories together. Most of the time we are not able to celebrate our anniversary on the day itself. This year we will at least spend some time on the day to remember and share together. We will look at a different time to celebrate more extensively. 

December itself is a month of memories. We spent a day in Antwerp on the 11th to celebrate Shirley’s birthday. The church has its Christmas get-together potluck this Sunday. And of course the two days of Christmas and then the New Year are on their way. But this Saturday is for remembering that smile of hers coming down the aisle. 

(Thanks to my mom for the few pictures we have!)

Whensday: Ides of March, taxes, and more

The middle of March could mean various things to various people. It is the ‘ides’ of March on March 15 and some will have heard the expression: ‘Beware the ides of March’. The ‘ides’ just means the middle of the month and was part a way of counting the days in a month. 

There are ides in other months as well. The ides of April will bring the tax man in the US. So many might say “Beware the ides of April.” Today in 2023 in The Netherlands a national election is being held which will lead to the choosing of the upper House of Parliament. 

It was Julius Caesar who made the ides of March so important. Marcus Brutus, along with others, assassinated Caesar on March 15, 44BC, effectively ending the Roman republic and eventually leading to the Roman Empire under Augustus. 

Skakespeare is the one who penned the infamous lines in his tragedy ‘Julius Caesar’. In the play a character warns Caesar ‘beware the ides of March’ since - as the soothsayer in the play knows - this is the day Caesar will be stabbed. In the play we also get the words: ‘Et tu, Brute?” “You too, Brutus?” 

At the time Caesar was dying and Augustus was building an empire, Maastricht was rising as a garrison and later as a city. Further south, in what is now Belgium, Tongeren was taking shape as a Roman city along an important road. These days both cities have remained important provincial capitals and important tourist locations, even in the middle of March. 

For us the day took on a larger significance in 2018 when our son, Sean, married Jill in Ternat, Belgium. For them, and for us, this is not a day of which to beware, but a day to look forward to.  

Whensday: Anniversaries

Today (December 21) Shirley and I celebrate 38 years together. We were married on this day in 1984 in Cloverdale church of Christ in Searcy, Arkansas. Since that day we have celebrated this day in all sorts of places and doing all sorts of things. Most of the time we do not get the opportunity to celebrate on the day, but we make sure that we spend some time together around this period (usually in January). 

That very first day we left Searcy and spent the night in Hot Springs, Arkansas, driving on to Abilene, Texas in a car that almost killed us from a leaky exhaust pipe. For the next few years we celebrated in Abilene with church family encouraging us (we had a great ‘young marrieds’ group at church). 

Our 5th year saw us celebrating with the addition of Stephan, who had shown up on Halloween that year. We were still in Abilene, but by the next year we had moved to Long Beach, California just before moving overseas. Our anniversary was shared with the church family in Long Beach and we flew to Belgium in January the following year (3 weeks later, in other words). 

The anniversary in 1991 we were living in Antwerp, Belgium, on a busy street in a busy city with a growing little boy and planning our move to the area of Maastricht, the Netherlands. It would still be another 6 months before we moved, but the plans had been set in motion by this time. We had started the year out living with our colleagues in their small house. We then moved to an apartment where we could welcome guests and finally get the things we had shipped from the US. We celebrated this anniversary in January 1992, leaving Stephan for a few days with colleagues and spending time together in the area where we were to move. 

In June 1992 we moved to our house in the village of Neerharen, Belgium (a village in the town of Lanaken). The following anniversaries were most often spent at home or nearby doing all sorts of activities. In 1995 Scott began with the singing group Listen Up!. For several years they organized a concert around Christmas called ‘Always CHRISTmas’. These concerts could be in Eindhoven, Woudenberg, Haarlem, Maastricht or Antwerp, but very often fell on our special day. So we celebrated in abbreviated form wherever we were at the time. 

In 1993 we shared the anniversary with our second addition to the family when Sean arrived in September. We also took our first furlough to the States that year in the winter, spending our anniversary with Scott’s mom in Colorado. For most of the years following we would take our furlough in the summer months because of school vacations. 

One of the years, we figure it must have been 2006 (so 22 years married), we took a short mid-week together as a family. We had some time in a bungalow park in the south of the Netherlands where the boys ran around (‘parcours’ was in fashion), we bowled together and enjoyed some family time. 

On our 25th anniversary, in 2009, good friends in Brussels (thank you Bill and Deedee) had us at their place and we spent a few days in the city, taking in some museums, getting some good food and sharing the time together. We were able to relax and spend the time together. The boys were old enough to be left alone and we made the time to make it special. In the year after we took 3 or 4 days together for a real celebration, traveling to Breda, Apeldoorn and Deventer (in the Netherlands).

Fast forward to 2012 and we celebrated in Oregon, OH while preparing for Stephan’s wedding to Natalie. This was only the second time in the US during winter. We met Natalie’s family and spent the day before the wedding making the wedding cake pops together as a combined family. We did spend the evening of our anniversary in a hotel.

In March 2018 Sean married Jill and they moved to New York City in October. This meant that this year was the first time that we had celebrated our anniversary without the kids in any way. Of course, we once again had various activities at the time, so celebrated on a different day. 

We seldom are able to celebrate on the day itself, but we know every year how good it is to have had another year together. We continue looking forward to the places and times we might celebrate in the future. This year we will look at heading off to a nice city ion the Netherlands - sometime in January. 

Family Time - again and again

The last few weeks have been full of family time. One of the things that I learned early on in my Christian life was how wonderful God makes family. Not only has he designed the family - father, mother and children - but he has designed the church as family. 

Jesus tells Peter and the disciples, after speaking with and about the rich young ruler, that “no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age.” (Mark 10:29-30)

I have always experienced this, from the moment I became a Christian and left my own family but gained a Christian family. So too with Shirley in her life. And yet, we never left our families, our brothers and sisters - they simply had a different place in our lives. 

From November 14-24 we traveled to the US to visit Shirley’s family. Her sister is not doing well and we wanted to see if we could help, to be there for her. Usually, when we are back in the US for Home Assignment, we have about two and a half days in Omaha for Shirley’s family. This time we had 8 and a half days. It felt as if we were able to lavish this time on her family and we were very thankful that it was possible. The travel itself went very well. We would appreciate prayers for the health of Shirley’s sister. 

The Sunday we returned, we were able to share and see family again - in the spiritual sense. We have a young Ukrainian couple in the congregation who are far away from home. They will marry in January, far away from home and most family. But they are with their Christian family. We held a wedding shower for them and blessed them financially as a congregation to help them on their new journey.

The congregation in Maastricht is indeed a big, amazing family. We have several young men studying or working, far from family and culture. We have three young ladies from varied cultures who have made their homes in Belgium or the Netherlands. We have mixed culture families, Belgians and Dutchmen all together in one loving family - because of Jesus Christ. 

This past weekend Shirley and I helped get the Americans in the church in Belgium and the Netherlands together for “Thanksmas”. We cannot meet on a Thursday for Thanksgiving and often have other obligations for Christmas, so we meet in the middle and make it Thanksmas - sharing our American culture and our Christian culture together. Although Shirley and I got sick and couldn’t attend, we were thankful that the others were able. 

This coming Friday evening the congregation has moved our regular 1st Friday singing to the 2nd Sunday and invited people of all cultures to come and sing of Jesus Christ in this time that welcomes Him into everyone’s lives. Our CHRISTmas singalong will be with songs in all different languages. We have specifically invited Ukrainians in the city to come join us. It should be a great time of fellowship and let people know how beautiful family is to God our Father. 

We pray that you have enjoyed family during Thanksgiving and will be able to see family during Christmas. But if you are not able to travel, open your home to others and experience family as God has always intended. We are meant to be together and He does that best. 

Go here (Instagram) if you want to see our fun with Andrey and Adriana. 

Tales of a marriage entangled in red tape

We have been married almost 35 years. We know that for sure. We have never really needed our marriage certificate in order to prove it, we remember the ceremony, the people who were present. Even on this trip we were able to reminisce with Daniel who sang that day, with Tonita who was maid-of-honor and with Bret who was best man. We don’t have a lot of pictures of the day (We left that very evening and took the film with us; it later died in our refirgerator before we got the chance to develop it), but we all remember the day. 

We remember looking into each other’s eyes. Saying our vows. Listening to Ron (Bret’s dad) pronounce us “man and wife”, and signing the cretificate. We were married on Friday, December 21, 1984. It was just before Christmas, which ended up playing a big part in this tale, although we did not know that until now. By Sunday we were in Abilene, Texas, beginning our life with the congregation of 11th and Willis (which you can read about in The Tale of the Old Friend). We still remember that afternoon in the church building of Cloverdale church of Christ in Searcy, Arkansas. We know we have been married for almost 35 years. 

Several years back, when we “moved” internally in our house here in Belgium, we somehow lost some of our important papers. We have been looking for them ever since, but thought it wise, since we would be in the US, to get copies. That is why we picked up a copy of Shirley’s birth certificate in Omaha and ordered a copy of our marriage certificate while in Minnesota. We ordered it online, since we would not be visiting Arkansas. No problem, everything is done digitally these days. As it turned out, it was good that we order this, since it was also the only piece of paper that could prove that Shirley was actually named “Raab” (see the Tale of the Pssed Port”). 

We had gotten news that all would be sent to Long Beach (which is where I knew we would be long enough to pick up mail). We even received news from the secretary at Long Beach that mail from Arkansas had arrived. Now all we had to do was pick it up. We had an appointment planned at the passport agency in Los Angeles for two days after we arrived in Long Beach. Then we would have everything solved. 

This, of course, did not account for red tape, Christmas, a story we have not yet heard (and may never hear). You see, what was waiting for us in Long Beach, the letter from Arkansas, was not our marriage certificate copy which would help us at the passport agency appointment early on a Wednesday morning in LA, it was a leter stating that they could not find any record of Scott Patrick Raab marrying Shirley Patrick Walker on December 21, 1984 in Searcy, Arkansas. I still have no idea how they gave Shirley my middle name. But I understood immediately that this meant that we would not be able to go to the passport agency on Wednesday morning. 

Rescheduling for the passport in Los Angeles was not possible. The only opening was in New York City on July 8 (the day before we would fly back to Belgium). More on that story later, what we were mostly wondering and needing was information about our marriage certificate. We still needed this piece of paper. How could they have gotten it wrong? And what were we to do now? 

We re-applied for a new certificate copy and made sure that all information was correct. We called to see how quickly this could be sent and found out that it could take up to two weeks (longer than we were in Long Beach). Within a few days we had notice that our new request had been processed – a letter arrived at the church building…. Stating that there was no record of a marriage between Shirley Patrick Walker and Scott Patrick Raab. Once again, the digital demon had done its work. Or at least that is what we thought. How could they keep getting the name wrong? 

We called Little Rock to get more information and that is when I met Tywanna. In the next few days Tywanna would come to know my phone number and name (“Well, hello mr. Scott”) quite well as we tried to get things worked out. In the end she stated, “I am glad it all worked out. Now I don’t want to hear from you again.” It was only because of her perseverance that we really are (officially, according to Arkansas) married. 

Through several days of telephone tag, calling to Searcy, back to Little Rock, and back to Searcy we weer able to find the correct record (which could not be found in Little Rock). It was Monday, July 1 at almost 4:30 pm. July 4th everything would be closed and we would leave Long Beach on July 5th. This was our last chance. Tywanna made sure it all got off on time. What arrived was incorrect. 

We found out that: 1) the person who filed our information at city hall in Searcy did a sloppy job. Our names were incorrect, our birthdates were all the same, even the date that it was filed was impossible (filed as January 1, 1984 – when the marriage date was clearly stated as December 21, 1984). That is a story we may never hear, but the filing was made on December 24 – Christmas eve and a Monday. What it meant was that we had to call Tywanna again. She was not happy, but she got right onto it. 

We called the clerk in Searcy again and she fixed everything while I waited on the phone and then faxed it to Tywanna. Tywanna had to go to another part of the office to find the person to Fed-Ex it to us, but by now it would not make it to us in Long Beach. It was already July 3rd. So we had to have it sent to Sean’s address in New York City. He lives in a warehouse. We prayed that all would go well and arrive on time. More importantly, that it would be correct. 

Before we arrived in New York on the 5th we received notice from Sean that all had arrived safely. We were finally officially married! Mind you, we had had a marriage certificate which was correct since the day we were married. Somehow, that offical piece of paper, which we still hope to find, never made it into the archives of Searcy or Little Rock, Arkansas. But it’s there now. We are so thankful for Tywanna (she went above and beyond) but we are more than thankful for the almost 35 years we have been together – with and without red tape. 

Stan en Bertha

Stan en Bertha
Originally uploaded by sraabs.

Our neighbors down the street recently celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. We were thrilled to be able to celebrate this with them. Our street regularly gets together for a yearly summer barbecue or some other activity, but this was especially nice.

It is so good to see how a couple can love one another and allow their love to grow for such a time. Of course these two also have their health - which is essential if you want to reach that milestone! We were glad that Stan and Bertha invited us to share in this time, along with the rest of the neighbors. Good to have good neighbors and to be able to share truly good times.