Video calls

Getting to talk to family is a blessing. We both grew up in a situation where we were separated from family for longer periods. In those days, that meant air mail letters or long distance phone calls of very short duration. These days we can send video messages, songs, pictures and more by our phone or computer. And we are thankful that we are able to connect with our boys, their wives and our granddaughter via the computer on video calls. 

We were able to talk to Sean for quite a while yesterday, checking in with his life and sharing ours. Everyone has a busy life. When we were younger and starting our life together, we were sure that our life was full of busyness. Of course now that is exactly where our children’s lives are. Which is why it is so nice to be Abel to “drop in” on a video call. 

We can hear the fire engine sirens screaming by our son’s window as they race to a fire on a snowy day in New York City, while we sit comfortably on our couch in the closing of the day in Belgium. Or we can show our midday snow to our granddaughter who is just waking up 6 hours away. It is always a bit of adapting, but it is good to see one another. 

It is even better to hear one another. The cadence of speech reminds us again of times when we were together. The laughter we share warms our hearts. And it is sometimes much better to share things “face-to-face” than in an email or letter. 

Of course it is also nice to be able to show off anything new in the house, or let the dog say hello. Most of us are used to being on video while talking these days. We use it for our weekly study with the members (which means more people can join the study). We also hold a video study with the younger people who are English-speaking - and spread to various places in Europe. Whereas some might turn off the camera (we don’t, since I am teaching, but others do) to avoid video weariness, we are thankful to be able to see one another, especially on these family calls. 

But in a few months we will get to take the next step and actually hug our kids. We are looking forward to being with Stephan and the family in May and Sean and Jill at the end of our trip in June. Along the way we will also be able to see others in our family with whom we do not have video calls - although I guess that would also be possible if we all wanted it. 

We are thankful for technology, for mobility and for possibilities to gather together in various times and places. 

On the family side

In the middle of this month we were blessed to see Sean and Jill again. We had seen them for a weekend when we were visiting in Indianapolis for our granddaughter, Sophia’s first birthday. The whole family was together for three days in June. Now we got to see Sean and Jill again as they came to Belgium to visit friends that they had not seen in a few years. 

We have also enjoyed being able to video visit with Stephan and Nathalie. When we were visiting them in June they gifted us a digital picture frame which means that they can add pictures of Sophia on their end and we see them immediately on our end. Most recently we were able to see that Sophia is walking. She was just testing out standing when we saw her last. 

Technology is a real blessing in keeping us connected. Shirley is still connected daily to her sister who is struggling with her health in Nebraska. The 7 hour time difference sometimes means that Shirley takes her phone to bed with her, hoping to hear news that will come in at what will be the afternoon in Omaha. But it is good to be able to have information. We of course remember a time when letters or phone calls were the only ways to communicate.

Thank you for your prayers for our family. Praise God for good health and growing families. Continue to ask for healing and strength in the situation surrounding Shirley's sister..

On the Family Side: Seeking, sleuthing and saying goodbye

In 2023 we were blessed to visit some of our family. Every three years we try to make it back to the US to visit with supporting congregations and family. We aren’t always able to visit all family because our supporting congregations are not really in any of the places that our family lives. The last time we visited Scott’s father was in 2010 on what we remember as our “Road Trip”. This was also the last time that our oldest son, Stephan, traveled with us. 

Last year we were able to visit Scott’s mom and even checked in with an aunt that he had not seen for more than 40 years. But we were also able to stop in to our oldest son, Stephan, again just before he became a father and we became grandparents for the first time. We hope sometime this year to be able to visit and meet Sophia in person, perhaps before or on her first birthday. 

On Shirley’s side we were working through some detective work trying to find more information on her older sister. Shirley had only met her sister once in her life. Through a DNA site, we were finally able to find more information and the news that her sister had passed away in 2020. We are still looking into more information about her father’s side of the family as well as her mother’s side. 

Unfortunately, we were not able to meet with all of our family. Some of the brothers and sisters, nephews and nieces had moved or were sick when we came through. For some this meant that our previous visit would be the last time we saw them. Scott’s brother and a nephew passed away in 2023 without us being able to visit them. 

We were thankful that we were able to see Shirley’s brother before he too passed away later that year. This year we are praying that we will be able to see Shirley’s last sister again. She is struggling with health problems. It is difficult to be so far away and wanting to be able to help. We are so very thankful for a family in Christ who continues to keep us and our loved ones in prayer. 

Thankfully, we are still able to be connected in many ways to family. We have a video call with our oldest son almost every week. Sean, our younger son, and his wife Jill, jump online with us at least once a month as well. So we can hear one another, see each other and share what is going on. Shirley emails her sister every day so that she knows what is going on and can be an encouragement. We get a picture every month of our granddaughter, Sophia, so that we know what she looks like and can see how she is growing. 

Both of us grew up in a time of airmail letters (thin pieces of folded paper filled with writing on both sides) being the only way to communicate over distances. So we know how special it is to be able to be in touch with our family that is far away. When I left for university, my mother knew that she could not expect to see me until the holidays - IF I could get a ride home at that time. 

Imagine what it must have been in the past when people moved across the globe. Even today peoples are moving far away from their families. Our young Ukrainian couple in church are far from family and friends in this somewhat strange country of Belgium. They are learning the language, but we know how they still miss family and friends. It is good to be connected in every way that we can. We are so very thankful for the contact we can have with our family, our kids and our loving church family. 

Please be praying for us for the following things we are looking at in the coming months: 

- We would love to be able to visit our granddaughter Sophia. Pray that we can find a good time in our schedule and the means to do this. Also pray that all stay healthy. 

- We would love your prayers for Shirley’s sister’s health and for Shirley’s peace of mind at this time. 

- Praise and thank God for family and for technology which makes it possible to be and stay connected.

(The picture is of Scott's mom when she was in high school)

Talk about it

I am an email guy. I know, I know - it’s old school. And yet I am old enough that I can remember how amazing it was to be able to keep contact with folks back in the States simply by this method. Back in the 80’s I sent airmail letters to Shirley - thin pieces of paper filled with tiny writing (to get as much in as possible) folded and sent with the post. Now I could simply write something on the computer, dial in, and send it via email. 

But I realize that things have changed. Although young people do have email accounts (perhaps because they must), they do not use them often. And others are so inundated by work emails that they do not want to look at an email after a day or week of work. So I have learned to use Whatsapp and Telegram. 

I even send text messages (called “sms” in Belgium) to those I know will not see their email or app. Sometimes this is the quickest way to reach someone. But I must admit that my fat fingers and “intuitive” text often make a mess of things. Still, it works.

The most important thing is that we can communicate. I have been so encouraged by how the members in the congregation in Maastricht take this to heart. The sisters have a group app where they encourage one another and keep in contact. Various sisters make the effort to call those who cannot be on the app group. The young members tend to be on Instagram more often, so one of them asked about an Instagram account for the congregation. She has set it up and maintains it. 

Other members are not tech people. They prefer a good conversation, face to face. So they make time to visit others in the congregation. Our church is made up of members from Belgium and The Netherlands, spread over a fairly wide area. Spending time together takes and effort and that effort is made. 

Others do it even more old-school: letters and cards, real mail (even if it is snail mail). Cards for birthdays, times of encouragement, anniversaries. These are often very important, coming at moments when encouragement is truly needed. One sister makes sure that cards are ready and signed by all the members. 

This is all done in a group made up of at least four different languages and various age groups. It takes effort to keep in contact with one another. It is much easier to wait until someone contacts you. But here we are learning, and putting into practice, how good it is to reach out and touch those around you. We share with one another how good God is in our lives. We share the needs for prayer in difficult times. We say “thank you” because we are thankful and “I love you” because we do. 

To borrow and adapt a phrase from a shoe company: Just say it. Today. In any way you can.

Taming the fire

The recent Waldo Canyon fire
 which threatened Colorado Springs

The tongue is a fire. Especially in our day and age. We all feel we can just twitter what we want into the ether and no one will be the worse off. Even more, the world will be better because I have put a bit of me out there. And since it rolled from my tongue, it must be valuable. I am simply being me.

We work with people from various cultures, but basically two: Belgian (which is actually at least two cultures) and Dutch. One of the major differences we experienced from the moment we first came to the Netherlands (as a campaign group 30 years ago!) was the difference in how the Dutch view what is said. Rude or honest? Am I being myself or caring for others? Where do we draw the line? The Belgians might not say anything, but they will be thinking it. So their Yes may actually be No. Is this honest? The question is really, how am I using my tongue?

In our current world of instant ‘communication’ it has become commonplace to simply say what is thought, to let drop whatever comes to the tip of the tongue. Is this communication, or are we simply talking into space? Since this has always been one of my major struggles, I recognize it in the world around me. James has some choice advice for us all: ‘Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.’ (James 1:19)