For a time

Just a few hours ago, 24 years ago, I joined the ranks of those who have been blessed with this privilege of time and responsibility doused in love. I became a father. This small – no sorry, ‘small’ doesn’t define what I felt at the moment I first held him: he was tiny for a human being as far as I was concerned, fragile, wonderful, amazing.

And this baby was placed in my hands. Literally of course, at that moment. The nurse picked the baby up and placed him in my hands. Actually he fit in one hand, with his cheek on my palm, his legs dangling from my elbow. I didn’t hold him like that the first time. I doubt the nurse would have allowed it and I certainly didn’t know it was possible. At that moment I was afraid I might break him. But in that moment I first started to grasp this privilege – and I was immensely thankful. 

We can look back now on the hours, days, weeks, months, years that have flown by and marvel at how these boys have grown. Our two sons are both basically out of the house. Stephan, who just turned 24, is married and living in Ohio. Sean, who recently turned 20, is mostly only home on the weekends while studying in Brussels through the week. The time flew by. Everyone told us it would, but it did! And it is such an important time.

I realized that first moment 24 years ago what an immense gift this is, although I did not grasp all of the implications at that time – I don’t know that I have grasped them all even now. To be granted to care for this person for a time, to help them grow, to show them what it is to live – this is a privilege. We did not ‘make’ them. They are not ‘ours’ – even though we say that because that is how our language notes that the children are in our care. We have been blessed with this short time to influence and be influenced by this precious life.

We don’t ever really know how long we will have. We always think that we most certainly have until the great-grandchildren are gathered around our deathbed to hear our last wonderful words of wisdom passed on in our last breath. And we do have some continued influence even after ‘our’ children have left home. But the time we are given to be parents is precious. And short. And wonderful.

God has chosen us as parents and has placed this child in our hands where we wonder at his size and how wonderfully he is made. And then we begin to realize the reality of what this means – we are to care for him, teach him all that is good, not break him, let him become the wonderful person God has made him. As our boys grew we were periodically reminded of this wonder, this responsibility, this blessing. I am so thankful that they were placed in our hands – for a time.