Mother’s Day

Yesterday was Mother’s Day, in the US, in Belgium and in the Netherlands. Sometimes the days differ in the different countries. The flower shops will of course have all been quite happy. I must admit, I am always thankful for how easy it is to get flowers in our area. I love getting Shirley flowers, but even more so on this day. 

Yesterday both of our boys made a video call to wish their mom a wonderful day. We also got to see our daughter-in-love Jill (Sean’s wife) and our granddaughter (Stephan’s daughter). It is at moments like those that we are so very thankful for the blessings of being parents. And I am especially thankful for Shirley being their mother. 

It isn’t just about that she was willing to bear them and bring them into the world. That was challenge enough, for sure. I still remember the Lamaze classes we took together preparing for Stephan’s arrival. He didn’t seem to want to leave and in the end they had to remove him with forceps. Shirley had gotten so tired after quite a long labor that she couldn’t push any more. 

When it came time for Sean, four years later, we lived in a completely different country and Shirley knew that she would have to give birth in a different language. She went through some false labor (where we went to the hospital, they kept her a while and then sent her home) and then the day came. It was following a pretty intense couple of weeks of Bible camp where she had stood in the kitchen cooking and also caring for Stephan. 

Sean was different because she birthed in a sort of chair instead of on a bed. She also was almost required to stay 5 days in the hospital. IN the US where Stephan was born, she was sent home pretty much the next day. Of course in Belgium she asked to go home early because she wasn’t getting the rest they were hoping she would - there being 4 other mothers and babies in the room. 

But after the births came all the years of caring, feeding, teaching, learning from, and being amazed at these boys in our lives. Shirley has always been a serious, clear, caring mother and I am so thankful for her love for our boys and our family. It reminds me of all that my own mom must have gone through with me, all of the effort and care and love she poured into me. So I am glad that technology exists and I can call my mom as well. 

For all of you mothers - thank you for your love for your husbands, your children and for the Lord who has taught us what love us and given us this possibility. 

For a time

Just a few hours ago, 24 years ago, I joined the ranks of those who have been blessed with this privilege of time and responsibility doused in love. I became a father. This small – no sorry, ‘small’ doesn’t define what I felt at the moment I first held him: he was tiny for a human being as far as I was concerned, fragile, wonderful, amazing.

And this baby was placed in my hands. Literally of course, at that moment. The nurse picked the baby up and placed him in my hands. Actually he fit in one hand, with his cheek on my palm, his legs dangling from my elbow. I didn’t hold him like that the first time. I doubt the nurse would have allowed it and I certainly didn’t know it was possible. At that moment I was afraid I might break him. But in that moment I first started to grasp this privilege – and I was immensely thankful. 

We can look back now on the hours, days, weeks, months, years that have flown by and marvel at how these boys have grown. Our two sons are both basically out of the house. Stephan, who just turned 24, is married and living in Ohio. Sean, who recently turned 20, is mostly only home on the weekends while studying in Brussels through the week. The time flew by. Everyone told us it would, but it did! And it is such an important time.

I realized that first moment 24 years ago what an immense gift this is, although I did not grasp all of the implications at that time – I don’t know that I have grasped them all even now. To be granted to care for this person for a time, to help them grow, to show them what it is to live – this is a privilege. We did not ‘make’ them. They are not ‘ours’ – even though we say that because that is how our language notes that the children are in our care. We have been blessed with this short time to influence and be influenced by this precious life.

We don’t ever really know how long we will have. We always think that we most certainly have until the great-grandchildren are gathered around our deathbed to hear our last wonderful words of wisdom passed on in our last breath. And we do have some continued influence even after ‘our’ children have left home. But the time we are given to be parents is precious. And short. And wonderful.

God has chosen us as parents and has placed this child in our hands where we wonder at his size and how wonderfully he is made. And then we begin to realize the reality of what this means – we are to care for him, teach him all that is good, not break him, let him become the wonderful person God has made him. As our boys grew we were periodically reminded of this wonder, this responsibility, this blessing. I am so thankful that they were placed in our hands – for a time.