Sean Michael

Recently we were talking with people about names. In the US it is common to have a first name and middle name. My oldest brother is named after my father, using his middle name. He is Christopher Francis. Although I am the 3rd child, I am the 2nd son, so I am named after my mother: Scott Patrick (my mom is Patricia). Most of us are named after famous people at the time. I am named for Scott Carpenter, an astronaut. My younger brother is named after John F. Kennedy and Martin Luther King (he is John Martin). 

In Belgium and the Netherlands there are lots of people with only one name. They do not have a middle name. Or if they come from a Catholic family, they have LOTS of names - all named after the parents or grandparents of godparents. But most only have one name. And those of us from the US often only use our first name. The middle name is reserved for when Mom really wants to get your attention: “Scott Patrick Raab you get over here RIGHT NOW!”

Often a name is chosen because is means something. A family we met recently had given all of their children Biblical names that mean something in Hebrew or Greek. But some parents simply go through the name book looking for something that sounds good as it rolls off the tongue. If your last name has three syllables, you might choose shorter first and middle names. 

We had tried to find a name for our first son that would fit in two different languages and cultures. It ended up not fitting in either very well. So when our second son came and we were already living in Belgium, we were certain that we wanted an “S” - we were all an “s” at this point - but we wanted something that would sound right and also work in the language. 

Sean Michael Raab was born on September 1 a few years ago. He had tried to show up a few weeks earlier while we were at camp, but the hospital sent us home - “false labor”. But when he came, he made his presence known. He had a low voice for a baby. And he looked at you with very serious eyes. But oh, he was beautiful. Just like his older brother had been, but different. Our boys were of course the most beautiful of babies in the world. 

We had to decide if we would use both of Sean’s names or just the one. Would he be Sean-Michael? Or Sean Michael? Or Sean? We called him “Sean Michael” for a while when he was a baby, but it ended up as simply Sean (until he wasn’t listening and the “Michael” had to be added). People here still weren’t sure how to pronounce his name. We thought “Sean Connery” would be enough of a clue, but they pronounced this actor as sée-uhn kahn-uh-ree. 

It has been a pleasure watching Sean grow up. We are thrilled with how he cares for the people around him and has become a teacher. He was always a teacher, willing to share what he had learned - if you could understand it. Today is Sean’s birthday and he is far away, but we are thankful for video calls and he and his wife Jilll taking time from their day to say hello. 

(Picture from 2023 during our Home Assignment)

For a time

Just a few hours ago, 24 years ago, I joined the ranks of those who have been blessed with this privilege of time and responsibility doused in love. I became a father. This small – no sorry, ‘small’ doesn’t define what I felt at the moment I first held him: he was tiny for a human being as far as I was concerned, fragile, wonderful, amazing.

And this baby was placed in my hands. Literally of course, at that moment. The nurse picked the baby up and placed him in my hands. Actually he fit in one hand, with his cheek on my palm, his legs dangling from my elbow. I didn’t hold him like that the first time. I doubt the nurse would have allowed it and I certainly didn’t know it was possible. At that moment I was afraid I might break him. But in that moment I first started to grasp this privilege – and I was immensely thankful. 

We can look back now on the hours, days, weeks, months, years that have flown by and marvel at how these boys have grown. Our two sons are both basically out of the house. Stephan, who just turned 24, is married and living in Ohio. Sean, who recently turned 20, is mostly only home on the weekends while studying in Brussels through the week. The time flew by. Everyone told us it would, but it did! And it is such an important time.

I realized that first moment 24 years ago what an immense gift this is, although I did not grasp all of the implications at that time – I don’t know that I have grasped them all even now. To be granted to care for this person for a time, to help them grow, to show them what it is to live – this is a privilege. We did not ‘make’ them. They are not ‘ours’ – even though we say that because that is how our language notes that the children are in our care. We have been blessed with this short time to influence and be influenced by this precious life.

We don’t ever really know how long we will have. We always think that we most certainly have until the great-grandchildren are gathered around our deathbed to hear our last wonderful words of wisdom passed on in our last breath. And we do have some continued influence even after ‘our’ children have left home. But the time we are given to be parents is precious. And short. And wonderful.

God has chosen us as parents and has placed this child in our hands where we wonder at his size and how wonderfully he is made. And then we begin to realize the reality of what this means – we are to care for him, teach him all that is good, not break him, let him become the wonderful person God has made him. As our boys grew we were periodically reminded of this wonder, this responsibility, this blessing. I am so thankful that they were placed in our hands – for a time.