Cars, cars, cars

As you may have read in our last post, we had a bit of an exciting New Year’s Eve when our car decided to tell us something was wrong. Cars these days. In the past you might have gotten some kind of hiccup, or smoke or some strange sound. These days the car simply tells you that something is wrong. Our car is from 2016, but it is still young enough to have this sort of computer in it. “Engine trouble” is what we were greeted with when the car didn’t seem to be moving as well as usual. 

Since New Year’s day fell on a Thursday, our garage wasn’t open until today (Monday), which meant that we spent the weekend without a car. Not really a problem in these days, except for Sunday morning. Thankfully we have plenty of brothers and sisters who were willing to pick us up if needed (and bring us back home). So we enjoyed a wonderful Sunday morning worship time and also had some good conversation with our sister Gaiane while she picked ups up and dropped us back home. 

Today I took the car in to the garage. It drives just well enough to get it to the garage, about a 10 minute drive away. Of course I would have to leave it there until they could look at it and let me know what was wrong. That meant a good 50 minute walk home in the snow, but that brings its own charms. When the garage called back, they let us know that the fix would be far too expensive for this car with more than 260,000 kilometers. Thankfully they also told us, after I walked back in the snow, that the car would still work for small distances - city driving. 

So now we have spent a good bit of the day looking at second-hand cars and wondering what we are actually looking for. We enjoyed our Citroën, but are pretty sure we will not be able to find another like it for the price we want to pay. You know how it goes - you make up a list of all the requirements that said car must meet in order to be picked. 

Are there any brands you absolutely would not choose? (Renault, Mercedes or BMW) Does the type of fuel matter? (We want a diesel because it fist our needs) Are there other requirements? (Must be Euro 5 designated exhaust in order to get into cities, preferably a bit taller so we can step in easily, and if possible with a trailer hitch for our trailer) We don’t worry about color, at this point, even if we may have preferences. We pay most attention to how many kilometers, how old, and what the price is. 

We hope soon to be able to find something and be completely mobile again. In the meantime we will enjoy the snow which is slowing everyone else down on the roads.

(Photo is of our previous Citroën back in 2018, stuck in the mud at Bible camp)

Digging in the past

Family is important. Knowing where you come from, what your background is. Knowing doesn’t mean that you are fated to be a certain way, but it always helps to put things into perspective. 

Both Shirley and Scott come from relatively large families. Scott grew up with 4 brothers and a sister (he is in the middle). Shirley grew up in a family of 8 kids, where she is one of 3 sisters. Except that she never really knew her oldest sister, Elizabeth. 

As we have visited her family in past years, her sibling group has thinned out considerably. Starting out with 5 boys and 3 girls, it had gotten to only Shirley, her sister, Mary (who we visited in November for health reasons) and her two remaining brothers. This was not counting Elizabeth, since no one seemed to have any information about her. 

Elizabeth was the oldest of the children, but left the home early on. Shirley only met her once in her life. So it has always been a desire to find out what we could about this sister. As technology has gotten more robust and there are things like DNA tests, we have had some new tools. This past week we finally got the test results back from a DNA kit that Shirley had sent in. We were hoping to perhaps get some matches which would lead us to more information about Shirley’s sister. It might also give some interesting information about her ethnic background. 

As we sat with the information, we started digging deep into records and files online. We both enjoy reading and watching detective stories and this was right up our alley. All we had about Elizabeth was her name. We knew approximately when she was born, but not with certainty. We did not know where she was born or when, with any certainty. We didn’t know where she had lived since her 16th, when Shirley had met her. 

In the end we found out quite a lot of information. We found Shirley’s maternal grandparents (and even great-grandparents). This helped in finding Elizabeth. We had one place where Elizabeth was mentioned as “Elizabeth F. Walker”, but we had no idea what the “F” could stand for. Then we found that Shirley’s maternal grandmother was named “Faye”. Mystery solved and we could start searching further. A marriage certificate and some census information nailed down that Elizabeth must have been born in 1953. We found an Elizabeth Fay (born Walker) of about the right age and living in Missouri - not far from where we thought she might have gone to school. 

In the end we found an obituary and everything came together. Elizabeth had never gone far. She had lived for a bit with her maternal grandparents, had a child young and married the man she would stay with until his death in 2013. She passed away in 2020 in the small town in Missouri where she had lived for most of her life. She was 67 and died with emphysema (as did Shirley’s mother). 

It is disappointing to realize that we were too late. We do not think that we could have found her earlier without some of the tools we now have at our disposal. And we still do not know why there has never been contact with the family. That is the next step. 

Still, it is good to know a little bit about who she was: a mother with three children, lots of grandkids and even a few great-grandkids. And we have discovered that these tools may help to uncover some more about her father’s side of the family - another mystery. 

We are thankful that we can know a little bit about our families. We are even more grateful that we get to visit from time to time. Scott will get to meet his Aunt Betty after having seen her last when he was a teenager. We will both get to see our siblings and their children soon on our trip through the US. And we will of course get to see our own children. 

Family forms us in some important ways. We are especially thankful that we also will be blessed to see our Christian family across the US as we travel from congregation to congregation. This is our eternal family and has formed and is forming us still in the most important ways.

A willing heart

What would you do if you found out that everything you had learned from your parents was wrong? Would you even be able to come to such a conclusion? Or is reaching this conclusion too easy, simply because you want to rebel against everything your parents think? Knowing why we believe what we believe is extremely important. I remember very well the struggles I went through as a young man searching for faith and truth. And I am aware of the struggles I still experience.

Recently we were pleasantly surprised (I don’t know why I am still surprised at how God does things, but He certainly does surprise) when someone who had contacted us years ago renewed contact. D. Had struggled with the teachings of the Jehovah’s Witnesses. At the time we met, she had made the decision to leave them – which meant that her whole family, who she had brought to the Witnesses, would have to shun her. Not an easy decision. In the meantime she had seemed to be going in a different direction and we kept praying for her.

This past Sunday she worshipped with us in Maastricht. She has an open, questioning heart willing to learn and aware of where she has come from. Pray for her, her children and for us as we work with her on her journey. We want to be people who know Jesus well enough that we can let her see who He is – in our words, attitudes and actions. It is great how God uses people to bring us to Him and His grace!