Both Shirley and Scott come from relatively large families. Scott grew up with 4 brothers and a sister (he is in the middle). Shirley grew up in a family of 8 kids, where she is one of 3 sisters. Except that she never really knew her oldest sister, Elizabeth.
As we have visited her family in past years, her sibling group has thinned out considerably. Starting out with 5 boys and 3 girls, it had gotten to only Shirley, her sister, Mary (who we visited in November for health reasons) and her two remaining brothers. This was not counting Elizabeth, since no one seemed to have any information about her.
Elizabeth was the oldest of the children, but left the home early on. Shirley only met her once in her life. So it has always been a desire to find out what we could about this sister. As technology has gotten more robust and there are things like DNA tests, we have had some new tools. This past week we finally got the test results back from a DNA kit that Shirley had sent in. We were hoping to perhaps get some matches which would lead us to more information about Shirley’s sister. It might also give some interesting information about her ethnic background.
As we sat with the information, we started digging deep into records and files online. We both enjoy reading and watching detective stories and this was right up our alley. All we had about Elizabeth was her name. We knew approximately when she was born, but not with certainty. We did not know where she was born or when, with any certainty. We didn’t know where she had lived since her 16th, when Shirley had met her.
In the end we found out quite a lot of information. We found Shirley’s maternal grandparents (and even great-grandparents). This helped in finding Elizabeth. We had one place where Elizabeth was mentioned as “Elizabeth F. Walker”, but we had no idea what the “F” could stand for. Then we found that Shirley’s maternal grandmother was named “Faye”. Mystery solved and we could start searching further. A marriage certificate and some census information nailed down that Elizabeth must have been born in 1953. We found an Elizabeth Fay (born Walker) of about the right age and living in Missouri - not far from where we thought she might have gone to school.
In the end we found an obituary and everything came together. Elizabeth had never gone far. She had lived for a bit with her maternal grandparents, had a child young and married the man she would stay with until his death in 2013. She passed away in 2020 in the small town in Missouri where she had lived for most of her life. She was 67 and died with emphysema (as did Shirley’s mother).
It is disappointing to realize that we were too late. We do not think that we could have found her earlier without some of the tools we now have at our disposal. And we still do not know why there has never been contact with the family. That is the next step.
Still, it is good to know a little bit about who she was: a mother with three children, lots of grandkids and even a few great-grandkids. And we have discovered that these tools may help to uncover some more about her father’s side of the family - another mystery.
We are thankful that we can know a little bit about our families. We are even more grateful that we get to visit from time to time. Scott will get to meet his Aunt Betty after having seen her last when he was a teenager. We will both get to see our siblings and their children soon on our trip through the US. And we will of course get to see our own children.
Family forms us in some important ways. We are especially thankful that we also will be blessed to see our Christian family across the US as we travel from congregation to congregation. This is our eternal family and has formed and is forming us still in the most important ways.
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