Update on Ruud

Typical Ruud

NL vertaling beneden
This past Monday I put up a request for prayers and so many of you responded. It is encouraging to know that we are a family of many, spread all around the world! I wanted to take some time to thank all of you who have been praying for our colleague and brother, Ruud Verheijen.
Ruud has had extreme and chronic pain for several years, due to rheumatism and a car accident (with attendant mistakes in care and follow-up). This past Monday the doctors were going to test a possibility for helping his pain. They specifically deadened certain nerves (a bit like the dentist does before working on your teeth). Ruud was to walk, stand, sit and see how well this helped. It helped … for about 5 minutes before the pain returned.
This told the doctors that a further process of actually burning the nerves would not be useful or helpful for Ruud. So the procedure for this coming Monday was canceled and Ruud was informed that he will need to learn to deal with his chronic pain. This is not new for Ruud. He has had years to accept that he has pain and learn to deal with it.
In October he will begin sessions at the “Pain Clinic” where he will be given advice on how to arrange his life around the pain that is part of his life.
In all of this, Ruud is an example of trust and faith in God’s caring hand. God has told us that He will be with us at all moments, giving us strength to carry on and, even more, be useful and mighty (2 Cor. 4). I am so thankful for Ruud’s faith and example, for God’s care. Please continue to pray for Ruud and his family as he and they work through this time. Praise God for His faithfulness. Pray for peace, comfort and days of refreshing as well as strength and insight into living with this situation.
Thank you for being a family!

Op mandag vroeg ik voor gebeden en velen reageerden daar op. Het is zo een aanmoediging te ervaren dat we een gezin van velen zijn, verspreid over heel de wereld. Ik wilde even de tijd nemen om jullie te bedanken die voor ons collega en broer, Ruud Verheijen, gebeden hebben.
Ruud leeft al jaren met extreme en chronische pijn vanwege zijn rheuma en een auto ongeluk enkele jaren geleden (samen met de fouten die gemaakt werden bij de behandeling). Op maandag gingen de dokters iets uittesten om zijn pijn mogelijk te verlichten. Ze gingen specifieke zenuwen verdoven (een beetje zoals de tandarts dat doet met je tanden). Ruud moest lopen, staan en zitten en zien of de verdoving hielp of niet. Het hielp … voor ongeveer 5 minuten voordat de pijn terugkwam.
Zo wisten de dokters dat een verdere behandeling van de zenuwen ‘verbranden’ niet de gewenste effect zou hebben en Ruud dus niet zou helpen. De procedure voor maandag, 3 september werd dus afgezegd en Ruud werd geïnformeerd dat hij moet leren leven met dechronische pijn die hij heeft. Dit is niets neiuws voor Ruud. Hij heeft al jaren gehad om te aanvaarden dat hij pijn heeft en om daarmee te leren leven.
In oktober mag hij naar de “Pijn Kliniek” waar hij advies zal krijgen over hoe zijn leven aan te passen aan de pijn die deel uitmaakt van zijn leven.
In dit alles is Ruud een groot voorbeeld van vertrouwen en geloof in de zorgende hand van God in zijn leven. God heeft ons verteld dat Hij er op alle momenten zal zijn in ons leven, om ons kracht te geven en, nog meer, dat wij bruikbaar en machtig kunnen zijn (2 Cor. 4).Ik ben zo dankbaar voor het geloof en voorbeeld van Ruud, dankbaar voor de goede zorg van onze God. Blijf alsjeblieft bidden voor Ruud en zijn gezin terwijl hij en zij proberen dit allemaal te verwerken en een juiste plaats geven. Loof God voor Zijn trouw. Bid voor vrede, troost en comfort en dagen van verlichting zowel als kracht en inzicht in het leven op deze manier.
Bedankt dat we een gezin zijn!

Sing the wondrous love of Jesus

Revelation 7:9-10

I know… I have mentioned it before. I love singing. I not only love to sing, but I love listening to singing, being part of singing, seeing what singing can do to our hearts and our lives. I will be singing even after my voice has gone (I will sign or find some way to take part). Song is created by God. He made our bodies capable of producing sound. That is an amazing thought in and of itself. More importantly, He made us in a way that we desire and can combine our thought with our emotions.

This summer I was privileged to present a day of lessons from Revelation at our Family Camp. My section for this theme of “Those who conquer” was chapters 4-7. Me being me, what jumped out at me, among other things, was all the singing! Have you ever noticed?

Everywhere you look in the vision that John was given of heaven there is singing. Most of the time it says that something was “said”. In chapter 5:9-10 it specifically states that it is a song. But even the places where the creatures and elders and angels and all creation are ‘saying’, they are saying it together. It is a song. And what a song!

Now, I remember when I was growing up that some people said things like, “Why would I want to go to heaven? All that standing around singing all the time.” And the implication was that it is also boring singing. I wasn’t quite sure where they had gotten that idea. But here it is. Sure enough. We’ll be singing. And of course, when you are little, there is no way that you can understand the depth of love, the meaning that singing to the Lamb has.

I certainly would hope that a young child would not truly understand that. Because we understand the love, the beuaty, the power when we finally realize how far Jesus has brought us from our sinful life. We are only able to understand and sing with gusto (as much as our tears may allow us) when we have accepted the love that Jesus has presented us, when we have struggled through trying to make our own lives right and have failed. When we have struggled through all sorts of trials and pains and have come to see that our Father is still there and He has made us victorious!

But we will sing. And I am so thankful that that is possible. I am not only looking forward to that chorus, I am getting started already. Jesus is my conquering Lamb even today! Let’s raise our hearts, our voices, our hands, our lives to praise Him with all that we are – beginning NOW!

Blackberries

Along our canal

No, I’m not talking about a modern communication device. The last several days, after waiting for weeks, I have been able to enjoy the bounty of the weeds along our canal. And that is simply amazing to me. Simple and amazing. These bushes also grow all over our yard – since I do not invest enough time in taking care of our yard.

But along the canal, my two-time-a-day walk with our dog, Snuffles, brings me past these Sleeping Beauty bushes. You know the story: the princess pricks her thumb on a spinning wheel and falls into a deep sleep (instead of dying as was designed). The kingdom falls asleep until a prince from outside the kingdom can finally tear his way through the terrible thorn bushes to find his true love sleeping. Those bushes.

And yes, they can be pretty intimidating when they get growing. But it is just amazing what kind of bounty they provide. I like blakberries. And even if I have to risk the stinging nettle, spiders and thorns, I enjoy picking a handful for my morning yoghurt. What I enjoy most, however, is the fact that this is found along the canal, available to any who will see it. And it is considered a pest, a bother to most.

Sleeping beauty, bounty that is simply amazing. Thank you Father.

Sticks and stones

We finished up our summer camp weeks last week with a wonderful Family Day at which we heard the encouragement to continue encouraging one another – and then promptly put the desire into action. There were members from around Belgium and the Netherlands, including the French-speaking congregations in Belgium. I love what camp can do for people. Placing yourself together in the middle of God’s creation opens your eyes to who He is and who we can and should be.

And that is what I love so much about how we are created. One day during family camp I was privileged to be asked by a few of the young boys: “Look at my stick collection!” They had just been on a walk in the woods and had gathered all sorts of sticks. “This one is a slingshot … and a gun.” Sticks of all shapes and sizes which, in the eyes of these guys, had all sorts of possibilities.

This reminded me so much of my son Stephan, who will soon be marrying and moving even further away for a few years. When he was young, a walk down the street to the kindergarten took quite a while. This was not only because as a 3 year-old his legs were a good bit shorter than mine. Mostly it was because he loved looking at the stones along the way. There were always some amazing stones to look at. The shining white ones. This one with a black stripe in it, or that one with speckles. The shape of another reminded him of something else. He saw beauty and wonder in all these simple things along the way.

I still have the box full of the stones he gathered then. And I still thrill at the wonder that God has given us for the simple things in life – things that many would say are ordinary. We are truly made in His image, able, if we are willing, to see the marvelous in everything mundane.

Have you looked at a stick collection recently?

Seeing Abraham through ten-year-old eyes

Some interesting spellings of my name

Last week at Benjamin Camp we were learning about ‘Who is God and how can we get to know Him?' The lessons, the songs, the crafts and the activities were all focused on the theme. It was exciting to see how the kids wrestled with the concepts and were not afraid to voice their questions. Even more exciting was seeing how the lessons were impacting their daily lives at camp.
While there, I ‘saw Abraham’. In Belgium and the Netherlands the saying is that when someone turns 50 they have ‘seen Abraham’ (or Sara if it is a woman). A life-sized doll is made of an old man and placed in front of the door with a poem about the person who is celebrating the birthday. This all comes from the text in John 8:56-58. After Jesus mentions that Abraham looked forward to his coming, the Jews remark that this is impossible. How could Jesus have seen Abraham if he were not even yet 50?

Of course, I was not at home, so there was not going to be a old-man doll at my door. I was at camp with 20 kids who were barely 10 years old. But these kids wanted to make this a special day for me. So they filled the camp postbox with notes for me, reminding me of how thankful they were that I was here. They sang for me and presented me with a crown made of balloons (which I had to wear all day – a uniquely humbling experience). The cook had made a cake so that we could celebrate. And that evening during the talent show, the kids sang for me again. 

Interestingly, in John the idea is that the Jews did NOT accept Jesus for who he was. They did not believe that he saw Abraham. And because they didn’t believe who Jesus was, they did not see His glory and His salvation. But these kids who were looking at how to know God knew the love of Jesus as a practical application to life. We had been learning the thought: ‘Do for others what you would like done to yourself’ (also in a new song). And they showed just that.

Getting to know God in this way is a great way to celebrate my birthday – growing in what really counts for eternity. 

Taming the fire

The recent Waldo Canyon fire
 which threatened Colorado Springs

The tongue is a fire. Especially in our day and age. We all feel we can just twitter what we want into the ether and no one will be the worse off. Even more, the world will be better because I have put a bit of me out there. And since it rolled from my tongue, it must be valuable. I am simply being me.

We work with people from various cultures, but basically two: Belgian (which is actually at least two cultures) and Dutch. One of the major differences we experienced from the moment we first came to the Netherlands (as a campaign group 30 years ago!) was the difference in how the Dutch view what is said. Rude or honest? Am I being myself or caring for others? Where do we draw the line? The Belgians might not say anything, but they will be thinking it. So their Yes may actually be No. Is this honest? The question is really, how am I using my tongue?

In our current world of instant ‘communication’ it has become commonplace to simply say what is thought, to let drop whatever comes to the tip of the tongue. Is this communication, or are we simply talking into space? Since this has always been one of my major struggles, I recognize it in the world around me. James has some choice advice for us all: ‘Be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to anger.’ (James 1:19) 

Speak to one another

I love singing. Singing is the way that God has given us to combine thought with feeling and communicate that to one another, to Him and to ourselves. And communal worship singing is the best of all. It is here that we experience family in the presence of God.

I am thankful that I have had the opportunity many times in my life to expereince communal worship singing in multiple languages. I have no idea in which language we will sing when we kneel before the throne, but it is thrilling to be able to share this beauty and truth with others, even when we have difficulty communicating the simplest things (how do you talk about your hometown or your family in Croatian, or Korean, or French?). We can sing of our love for God, of our joy in His grace, of our burning desire to be His in all we do and say. And with a bit of translating in the beginning, we all know that we are sharing this thought and feeling.

Every first Wednesday of the month the church in Maastricht gets together to sing – learn new songs, learn about singing, share our thoughts in song. The group from Liége (Luik) usually joins us for the evening. Last weekend they organized an evening of singing with Robert McCready and his students from Harding. Glorious! And last evening was the last Wednesday evening in Maastricht until September (after our camp weeks). It was a wonderful evening together, although we missed some who are often there. But we will see them again too – and we will sing together to the glory of God, in any language, forever!

The putty birds

God wants us to get hurt. Last week I talked about the need to be able to fail safely. Let me explain the other side of this by looking at a problem we have down at our Bible camp in the Ardennes. Birds are eating the putty from around our new windows. (I assume they are using this in making nests –  a good use of modern technology? But that’s another post entirely.) The best way to stop this is to put a toxic substance (varnish) on the putty. Other options I have read include blocking off the windows, not using windows, or providing more food for the birds so that they hopefully will not go for your putty (which means that you get fat birds pecking the putty anyway).

Bird-lovers might not like the toxic answer. Birds will get sick and perhaps die because of the substance they are ingesting. And yet, this is the best way to save the other birds. If the few who first tried this died, the rest would not take over the learned behaviour. And it is learned behaviour. They do not need the putty. Only some birds do this.

God wants us to get hurt! Well, he is willing to allow us to get hurt. If we didn’t and were always bailed out of all our difficult situations, then we would never learn how to stop, never learn what the consequences of our actions are. If there is no consequence to an action, then I will think all is okay and will learn and teach this to others who will then also be in danger. It is better that we suffer consequences and teach others that this behaviour is not good.

We are not birds. You can’t put a warning on window putty telling the birds that this is not good for them. But to be honest, most birds don’t even do it. It is the few that are either bold enough (or dumb enough) to try something new, different, dangerous (because unknown) who will do this.

But we do have warnings. There are plenty of literal warnings on all sorts of materials and activities in our lives today. Smoking will kill you. Don’t use the lawn mower to trim the hedges. Don’t stick your hand in the trash disposal of the sink while it is running. Eating too much sugar will rot your teeth.

And those are just the normal warnings concerning everyday things and activities. There are more important concerns if we want to really live well and happy, live fully. God gives us warnings about our spiritual life.

Will we listen? If not, will we learn from the consequences? And if we will not, will others learn who observe the consequences in our lives?

When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:20-23)

Fail Safe

A still from the movie Fail Safe

I am a pretty funny guy – even though my kids and my wife don’t think so. But I keep telling my joke (sic) anyway. And, as I say almost every time that I mention my wife and son haven’t laughed, “But you love me anyway.” And they do. I keep trying to tell jokes and have fun with it because I know they love me, even if I fail at telling jokes.

I fail at plenty of other things as well. All of us do. And some of those things simply need to be stopped. I don’t need to keep trying to lie or lash out or lend my ears to luscious gossip. That simply needs to be stopped – even though stopping is not simple. But in other areas failure means imperfection, not getting it completey and perfectly right. When I fail at encouraging others - everyone, fail at exhibiting excitement for God in my life – all the time, or fail at exercising my faith in daily life – every day, I can choose a few options as response.

I can give up as a failure and simply not try again. I don’t want to feel the indignity of the failure, or see the disappointment in the face of others. So I simply give up trying to do those things at which I can fail. Or I can do the opposite of what I know to be right, since I am going to fail anyway. I might as well fail well. (Perfection in imperfection?) If I feel everyone is going to look down on me, I might as well make ‘em good and angry.

But as a father, I know that I don’t want my children to feel this. I want them able to be creative, stretching and doing new things in their lives. This means that they have to be able to fail, safely. Children need to know that if they fail, they are still loved. If they fall down, they can get up and try again. This doesn’t mean that there will be no consequences for poor decisions. It means that the parent will be there to accept the child during and after the consequences, that the child will know that he/she is loved, despite the failure. And we all need to know that no one is perfect, doing all things right all the time.

God knows the same about us. He is the perfect Father, the example for all of us. He is there for us when we fall, letting us know that He loves us. He knows that we are not perfect, and that we will not do everything right all the time. But He wants us to try, and keep trying. We are going to fail. What we need is a way to fail safely, able to recover and continue. So forgiveness and grace abound.

But now a righteousness from God, apart from law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. (Romans 3:21-24)

Take your time

I need to be outside pulling weeds. Or in the pantry putting in new electrical outlets. I so like to have things done, but I hate doing the preparatory work necessary to get it done right. It all takes so much time! Although I must admit that I also dislike all the trouble that comes from a job poorly prepared. Then I just end up doing the job twice!

Most of the time my lack of patience means that I do not have the right tools at hand. Have you ever gotten up on the ladder and realized that the screw you need is down on the floor - somewhere among all those things? Then when you have gotten the screw and are back up the ladder, you realize that the screwdriver is down on the floor (you know where)! Or even worse, you disassemble the toilet to find out that the one piece of equipment you need to fix it (or even put it back together) is not in your toolchest at all. 

I know that I am not very patient. I like to think that I am fairly patient with people – although I know that I am the hardest on those closest to me (my children and my wife). But, as will all good work, building and maintaining relationships also takes some good preparation.

It is important, if I want to be able to encourage someone in their faith, to know who they really are and what they are actually struggling with. Simply tossing some scripture their way and leaving them to it is not going to help. And I don't always feel that I have the tools to help in every situation. Some things I can learn, others are out of my grasp. That’s why God put us in a family. We are then able to influence one another, use our talents and benefit from the talents of others as we grow together. But then I need to be willing to put the effort into those relationships.

I am thankful that God takes time to help me grow. I want to be willing to take time to help others as well. 

When do you let go?

Next Saturday I will lead some thoughts at the funeral for Irene Neede. Back in November Irene came and asked if I would perform her funeral. She wanted the service to be used wisely, continuing the message of life and grace that she even, and especially, in her sickness and dying was preaching. She had been given two weeks to live, so we put together a plan. Then we prayed for strength, peace, comfort from pain and insight into God’s will in this situation. She held on until this past Wednesday, although there were several moments that she thought the end was right around the corner – and then the doctors were able to lengthen the time.

I have often been encouraged by the thought that the Holy Spirit knows what I feel and think and can express this to the Father. ‘In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.’ Romans 8:26-27

But I must admit that I struggle greatly with how to deal with these situations. I wonder for myself as well – what would I do? Since technology can do so much (and yet far from all we would like it to be able to do), we are left with some difficult questions. Although maybe they are not such new questions. The apostle Paul said: ‘For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body.’ Philippians 1:21-24  Technology in his day was a far cry from what we experience today, but his questions were the same as mine.

My struggle comes more with the when. I have known people who were dying who feel they need to live for their children or others. Others feel they need to die, to leave, because their time has come. Often the one who ‘needs’ to stay dies and the one who ‘needs’ to die has to hold on longer. So when can you let go? How do you do that? And do I help people understand that they do not have to feel guilty either way? When can I let go, if I know I am dying?

This becomes most difficult when ‘doing all you can’ to stay alive means that you are literally kept alive long past what would usually be possible. Can we let go? (I am NOT talking about euthanasia!) What do you think? I would really appreciate your input. 

Are your politics getting in the way of your faith?

Politics in Europe is a bit different than the in the United States. In the Netherlands there are four parties left of center, a liberal democrat party, three Christian parties (mostly right of center) and a party further to the right. In Belgium there are many of the same types of groups, but then in two different languages. They are blue, red, green, orange and yellow. All of these parties have to share power – there is no one party strong enough to do everything. A coalition in the Netherlands was called "purple" because it was a mix of the blues and the reds. And people understand this. They understand that there are portions of what they like in one party, and perhaps other portions in another party.

In the United States there are only two parties. People believe, feel or pretend that there are only two views to most questions (usually couched as “right” and “wrong”). I have heard discussions among adherents of both groups questioning how any one could be Christian and be … (whatever the “other” group is). This can even cause some serious hurt feelings within a congregation.

In Maastricht I have been preaching through the letter to the Philippians. This is not the only letter with this dynamic, but Philippians shows us how to deal with differences within the church. And it is in this letter that we hear God through Paul saying: “But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ.” (Phil. 3:20) God uses Paul to touch on this topic for the Ephesians and the Romans as well, so it is obviously something we need to hear.

Paul is telling the Philippians that their allegiance is not to that which makes them different. Their allegiance is, above all, to Jesus Christ. If they allow their being Jews or being Romans, their stance on military matters or foods and holidays (as in the letter to the Romans) or any other point to take precedence over their allegiance to Christ and to one another – they have lost sight of their true citizenship.

We will never be able to find a party that encompasses all of Christ’s ideals. Being active politically, trying to use the tools that are given us in society to enact real change and good for Christ in the world, is valuable. But we must not allow our preference for a particular party to overshadow our allegiance to the Almighty. My focus must be on saving people eternally, not just helping them for the next four years. Don’t think for one minute that either (or any) party is right in all things. And don’t start defending certain points simply because it is your party. Remember to whom your allegiance belongs and why. Then act on that allegiance, not only during election year, when people are looking, but every day, when it really matters. 

Every nation and language

This past weekend it happened again – we had a great weekend in four different languages! The church in Schaffhausen, Switzerland organizes a soccer tournament for churches who want to take part. This year Semiye Verheijen, Michaël Marx and Shirley and I went from Maastricht. Don’t worry, Shirley did not play. But we all enjoyed the fellowship enormously.

Imagine again (I know I have talked about this weekend before) – when we play a ten minute game, we are opponents. The ‘Pro’ teams are quite serious about winning (as are some of the ‘Fun’ teams). Our Belgium Pro team is made up of members and friends from all over Belgium. Everyone on the team puts his/her best foot forward. Even in the Fun games there is some serious play.

But Saturday evening we put the balls away, set out some mats on the gym floor (this is an indoor tournament) and we sing. And suddenly we are one. We sing in French, in German, in English, but we sing together to praise God and thank Him for His goodness. We may be from various different cities, different countries, different cultures, but we praise God together. We come before our King as one family. We join together in worshipping Him, because there is no other way to do it.

At the end of the singing, Luk Brazle reminded us that we not only have voices to praise our King, but bodies to worship Him as well. So we are encouraged, again, to be Christians, followers of the Way, who are playing soccer, not soccer players who are Christians. I love this emphasis and am so thankful that we have this kind of opportunity to show our young people (and plenty of not-so-young folks as well) how important and good it is to worship in all we do. It wasn't every nation and tongue yet, but it was a great taste!

Hope to have a link up soon to some of the pictures from this year, so check back soon. 

Take it easy!

On Monday we went to the doctor for Shirley’s check-up after the operation. He showed us the x-rays, talked about what they mean, mentioned that everything was looking quite good, and asked if there were any questions. Shirley had a few, which were easily and clearly answered: she is doing great and can do whatever is possible for her body. She just needs to listen to what her body is telling her.

Then I had some questions. I am the one who has been coming down hard on her about doing all sorts of things. I am overprotective, I admit it. But I want to help. So Shirley has chafed at not being able to even do some simple things – not because she is not able, but because I will not allow her. The doctor had now made it clear: Take it easy! That was directed at me, not at Shirley.

Thank you all for your prayers and emails, your encouragement and good advice. The next time Shirley has to go in isn’t until August for a six-month check-up where they will just check the implants and make sure all is still going well. As far as the doctor is concerned, Shirley is ready to roll (and I will try to take it easy while I try to make sure that she really listens to her body). 

Sons and Daughters

Thanks for the photo from "Erin" on fb

I never wanted to know what the gender of our child would be before he/she was born. I have always been like that. One Christmas my brothers and I snuck out to see what presents were being wrapped – before they were wrapped. It was the worst Christmas ever. I like surprise. So when Shirley was pregnant, I didn’t need to know if it was a boy or girl (even if they could have given us certainty – which they couldn’t at that time).

We were blessed with two wonderful boys. After Stephan came, we would have welcomed, as we would have when Stephan was on his way, either a boy or a girl as our second child. It didn’t matter. Sean and Stephan are two very different young men, but they are definitely boys in so many ways. So we never had the opportunity to experience girls. Of course we have baby-sat plenty of households with girls. Our colleagues, the Verheijen’s, are a family of only girls, so they had the opposite experience to ours. And both families have always been happy.

But of course, we also know how wonderful it is to find your soul-mate, that very person who matches you, challenges you, helps you to grow in the very faith and goodness that God has placed in us in order to grow. To find someone with whom you can share the best part of life – the very Creator of life, this is joy. And it is through knowing love, as God has shown us love, that we are truly able to recognize it in the other. This is why a spouse is a gift from the Lord.

It was so exciting to hear Stephan and Natalie’s news – they will soon be one ("soon" being relative - the wedding is in December). And we will have a daughter. It is so good to see how they share the best part of life. Their faith together has grown and continues to grow. What a blessing! And it has been especially precious to us to experience the outpouring of joy that all of you have had in this choice as well. Thank you for sharing in this.

“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD.”

“Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.”

Proverbs 18:22; 19:14

A willing heart

What would you do if you found out that everything you had learned from your parents was wrong? Would you even be able to come to such a conclusion? Or is reaching this conclusion too easy, simply because you want to rebel against everything your parents think? Knowing why we believe what we believe is extremely important. I remember very well the struggles I went through as a young man searching for faith and truth. And I am aware of the struggles I still experience.

Recently we were pleasantly surprised (I don’t know why I am still surprised at how God does things, but He certainly does surprise) when someone who had contacted us years ago renewed contact. D. Had struggled with the teachings of the Jehovah’s Witnesses. At the time we met, she had made the decision to leave them – which meant that her whole family, who she had brought to the Witnesses, would have to shun her. Not an easy decision. In the meantime she had seemed to be going in a different direction and we kept praying for her.

This past Sunday she worshipped with us in Maastricht. She has an open, questioning heart willing to learn and aware of where she has come from. Pray for her, her children and for us as we work with her on her journey. We want to be people who know Jesus well enough that we can let her see who He is – in our words, attitudes and actions. It is great how God uses people to bring us to Him and His grace!

Belgian diving?

Spring has arrived in Belgium and oh how glorious it is! We are so thankful for the sun and the smile that it brings to our faces. It makes it so much easier to get out and about when it is not raining or grey. And it has been good getting out and about.

We wanted to thank you again for your prayers and wonderful messages for Shirley during her recovery. She is doing great. It has now been 4 weeks since the operation and she is starting to get used to not doing some things. It is quite hard to be such an active woman and suddenly to have to let others do for you. Shirley has to think longer about which clothes to wear, for example, since she cannot pull a sweater over her head without some effort. Another reason for joy with the coming of warmer weather, fewer sweaters!

But this has meant that we have been learning more about working together in the kitchen, as mentioned previously. Mostly I am learning about how cooking works. Shirley sits at the counter and instructs me on what I should do. She keeps telling me that I am supposed to taste my food while cooking it, but that would mean getting my fingers messy (and some of you who know me know what a struggle that might be). I do not think that I will be able to remember many of the recipes, but I guess that is how most people have learned to cook – by trying and doing again and again.

One of my favorites, however, is a simple lunch involving “white loaf”. Witloof is a vegetable. I am told that it is called “Belgian endive” in English. It can be bitter, but I like a good mixture of flavors, and I like simplicity. So this lunch appeals greatly to me: simply peal the leaves from the Belgian endive and arrange them on the plate; place a piece of sandwich ham in the center, topped with thin slices of brie and throw the whole thing in the microwave for about two to three minutes. Top it off with a honey-mustard dressing. “Klaar is Kees!”

The Taming of the Shrew

One of my favorite movies is “The Taming of the Shrew” with Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor. It’s a favorite on several levels. I always wondered how much of the fireworks on the screen actually came from the actors’ real-life relationship. One could easliy see them acting and reacting in exactly this way even while walking around Hollywood.

And I really enjoyed how they were able to make Shaekspeare sound like everyday, normal language. That is how I hear it as well, when I read it. But the kids in my class thought it was so difficult to understand. It is how so many people (especially these days) react to the King James Bible. But if you know what is being said, it’s all simply normal. That is what a good Shaespearian actor can do for the wonderful writing that is Shakespeare.

What I like the most in this piece, however, is the message. I would imagine that this play doesn’t get much air time in schools these days. It has always incited ambivalent reactions in its audiences. Perhaps people think that it is too demeaning of women. This is unfortunate, since the story is exactly the opposite of the woman-bashing some might at first glance see. And it presents a message we all need. I won’t tell you what it is about, if you have not read it or seen it (and if you watch a film, choose the one with Burton and Taylor). I challenge you to check the story out.

What I will mention is how much we can learn from Katherina and Petruchio (as well as the others, of course). Why do I fight so hard against some things that are said? Am I just rebelling to be rebellious? To show that I am in control? Who is the shrew? And what am I really looking for? Am I honest with myself and those around me? These are questions that are very pertinent in my spiritual life as well. I want to be able to trust, knowing that I can trust.

For those who are interested:

Cole Porter’s “Kiss me Kate” (a musical) and the film “10 Things I hate about You” (a modern version) are also adaptations of this play. (I have seen “Kiss me, Kate” but prefer the Burton/Taylor version for the language). 

The sound of music

What does a good band name sound like these days? There are animals (Fleet Foxes), names that begin with “the”, and just strange combinations (Noah and the Whale?). The pop groups (and for some “pop” is a nasty word) have names just as strange as the “indie” groups. So we run across things like Foo Fighters, Magnetic Fields, or a Tokyo Police Club as well as Arctic Monkeys, The Flaming Lips or The White Stripes. But to be honest, when I look at the groups I listened to when I was growing up – were they any different: The Beatles or The Rolling Stones, Boston (or Chicago, or Orleans), Electric Light Orchestra, Led Zeppelin and many others. It’s hard to find a good name – one that stands out and hasn’t been taken already.

This Friday Karma Police will present their first CD at a special concert in the Muziekgieterij in Maastricht, the Netherlands. Quick translation: that is a local place (the Music Foundry) which supports young music talent. Karma Police is the three man band that Sean plays with. The CD has 10 original songs all written and arranged by Sean and played well by the band: Sean on guitar and vocals, Wouter on bass and vocals, and Cedric on drums and vocals.

I like hearing different kinds of music. Sean plays guitar – he taught himself and plays far better than I ever have (or will). It thrills me to see the creative talent he puts into these songs. But I think what I like the most is just hearing the guys practice. They come over to the house, head upstairs to the attic where they have the gear set up and play through their songs (or learn new ones). I like hearing the riffs, recognizing the songs I have come to know, hearing something new and wondering if it is a new song.

In May Karma Police will compete in a national band competition for bands with young members (14-19 years old) in Ghent, Belgium. They are excited about the possibilities, but mostly they are just enjoying still making music together. 
You can download their new song "Olive Tree" for free.

Let's get cookin'

I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you for your prayers for Shirley. Her operation went well and she is recovering well at home. Probably the most frustrating thing for her is simply all the things she is not allowed to do: no reaching up, no bending down, no lifting of anything heavy (which I interpret for her to be anything). It is amazing how much of your normal daily life this impacts. And Shirley is a very active, very serving woman (as any of you who know her personally already know).

This means that she cannot have the dog, Snuffles, up in her lap in the morning, as she does almost every morning. She can’t put her own clothes on. When we go shopping she has to ask me to pick things up and put them in the wagon. And she can’t cook dinner - our refrigerator is low, which would mean bending down and lifting things out of the fridge. All of the cabinets are either high or low.

Perhaps that could have been a perk, but what it has meant is that I have to cook. Now, I have cooked before – I worked at Godfather’s pizza and Wendy’s, so I know how to throw some food together (sometimes literally). I was looking forward to learn some real cooking. But it has been a challenging week. Perhaps you know that a husband should not be the one to teach his wife how to drive. I believe some of the same dynamics come in to play when the husband is learning to cook. But we are surviving – and I am learning to cook.

This week Shirley will be allowed (she has 6 weeks of recovery) to do a little bit more. Tomorrow the stitches come out of her neck and she hopes to be a little bit more mobile. It is hard to be patient. She is chomping at the bit, ready to go. I am trying to be patient (mostly with myself) and starting to enjoy a lot of this cooking stuff. Pretty soon, together, we will really be cooking!

Automatic pilot

The Advanced Bible Study Series (ABSS) in Germany always sends me home with plenty of new thoughts and lessons on which to ruminate. Some of them even come from the teaching during the day, but often my most important challenges come from discussion in the afternoon during a walk in the snow, or from the activities during the day. This time a real chewy thought came from a basketball game.

Those who know me know that I love to play basketball in Gemünden at ABSS. Yes, this study week is always held in February in the Taunus area of Germany. This is also one of the other reasons I love to go – to get my “snow fix”. In Belgium we don’t usually get much snow. Gemünden does. So last year we played basketball on a court covered with about 5 inches of snow (imagine dribbling on that). This year the snow stayed away and we had a clear court.

It is always a challenge to find folks to play. Doyle Kee is always out there, and I am always ready to play, but finding others willing to test their bodies is usually a test in marketing skills. We play for fun, so those who don’t know how to play are always welcome. And that is where many of my lessons come from. Do I really play for fun? How fair do I play and when am I too competitive? Do I focus on what matters and on helping my teammates or on my own misgivings and failings? Sports are great for life lessons.

This year we had the pleasure of playing with someone who had only ever played rugby. I still remember the first time I learned about rugby (at our Bible camp in the Ardennes). I am from the United States, so I know a little bit about playing with a stange shaped ball. I tackled a guy running with the football and brought him down and was quite pleased with myself, until he simply got up and ran further, finally celebrating hysterically in the endzone. But I had tackled him! He was down! Ah, yes, but in rugby one does not stay down (oh – there’s a good lesson!). Which is why rugby players don’t just tackle you, they take you out! They don’t pull anything, but barrel on forward in order to stop any forward motion.

So, back to the basketball court in Germany, our new player (who has previously only played rugby), quite quickly understands that he must defend against the guy with the ball and keep him from reaching the basket. After a few rough exchanges and the explanation that basketball is a non-contact sport (in principle anyway) he tries to adapt his behaviour. But it is not easy to learn stopping on a dime, like basketball players do. It is especially hard when you have always been used to going full-steam ahead until the opponent stops!

By the third day things were working a bit better, but I was already churning through what might be an important lesson. Some attitudes and actions are highly and firmly ingrained into us from an early age. And the more we have “practiced” them, the more ingrained they become. Simply explaining to someone that things are to be done differently (changing the game rules) doesn’t change everything right away. The person might understand completely what they are to do, they simply can’t do it right away.

Am I then willing to be patient, even taking some rough hits, while my brother learns to adapt his behaviour? And then I thought about all the people who had been so patient with me (are so patient with me). Had I simply expected and taken for granted that they would be patient with me? Now there’s plenty to chew on. Thank you, those of you who have been patient, who are still putting up with me and who have taught me part of what is now starting to sink in. 

Conflicting thoughts

It has been a while since I have written regularly here. Some of that has to do with what we all experience – ask someone how their week was and the answer will more than likely be something like: “Yeah, it was okay.” When asked more specifically about what happened in the week, we don’t feel like there was anything actually worth noting. It was just a normal week, with normal activities. And of course everyone forgets that for those who are interested in your life and living far away, your normal is quite interesting.

But there has also been a different dynamic. When things are not going well, we don’t necessarily want to talk about it. No one wants to say, “Well, my job is not going well and we’re struggling with some conflicts.” But as someone said (I don’t remember who) – "Conflict just means that we are learning to be peacemakers." It is ridiculous to think that we will never have any difficulties or conflict. How else would we grow?

Naturally, “conflict” doesn’t have to mean “war”. There are various degrees, levels or types of conflict. In Maastricht we have been working through several of those degrees in the past months. We are struggling through differences in teaching, some interpersonal struggles and simply trying to grow as a family of Christ. We truly are learning how to be peacemakers and not just peacekeepers. We haven’t been enjoying every minute – struggles is, well… a struggle – but we are growing: in faith, in grace, in patience and in love. As long as we keep trying to keep Jesus central in our struggle, we will come out just fine. 

Shirley's neck

This afternoon Shirley goes in to the hospital in Genk in preparation for an operation tomorrow morning. For years she has been dealing with pain in her arm and neck (you read about this in the blog even five years ago). After various attempts at medication and therapy, the doctors have decided that this is the only option left to remove the pain She could also simply learn to live with more and more pain, but already the slight damage to nerves in her arm are causing an atrophy in the muscles.
So Shirley has decided to go ahead with the fusing of three vertebrae. The doctors remove the disks at the C6-C7 and C5-C6, place blocks (space holders) and fuse those two areas. This will relieve the pressure on the nerve to her arm.
Shirley is upbeat about the operation and looking forward to less pain, although she knows that the recovery time (about 6 weeks of taking it easy) will be a challenge. Some of you have also gone through some of this and I am sure that Shirley would be interested to hear your experiences. If you would like to respond, simply add it to the comment section below, or email us (sraabs[at]yahoo.ie). What helped you? What were your experiences?
Thank you for your prayers. We will keep you updated on how things go.